So I’ve got some more crap on my mind again hmph. Anyway this Easter Sunday I fell out with my Mum, it wasn’t a bad falling out in her eyes, but in mine, once again she let me down.
You know my life has been a funny old life so far and my relationship with my Mum has always been interesting to say the least. It’s always been somewhat Ab Fab; you know the type of Mother/Daughter relationship where the daughter is like the Mother and vice versa. Some people I know, including my Mum, think this is all rather amusing but because I’m the one who plays Mum all the time, it ain’t really so much fun for me you know!
My Mother has just never grown up, this has always been a bone of contention between us but recently, being pregnant and all, it’s become more of a skeleton as I’ve been thinking of the future of course and how she may treat my child aka her Grandchild.
I’m rather traditional when it comes to children and so I believe that yes, the little tykes cost money but what a child really needs is lots of love and discipline when needed, rather than numerous pairs of Nike Air Max, money on tap for sweets and too much freedom. I suppose the problem with this “old fashioned” outlook is the fact that my Mum was too busy enjoying herself throughout my childhood so now I worry that if she was like that with me, then she’ll be worse with my child. And, if she can let me down again when I’m heavily pregnant, then she’ll no doubt let us down when our son is born.
Until you have children or are pregnant I don’t think you can fully understand how protective a good parent feels towards their children and I feel that way now, I know we’ll make mistakes as parents (him indoors and I) but I want better for my child than I had, I don’t want to let him down like I was and I never want him to question whether he was loved as a child, as I often do. Mind you too much of the opposite and you could end up with a right spoiled little brat, so I suppose parenthood is a fine balance and as long as you’re aware of that then you should be doing your best.
Life has a funny way of throwing everything annoying, irritating and downright worrying at you, at the wrong time and the same time doesn’t it?
Anyway I’m sure all this will sort itself out before the baby is born but I think things need to be discussed between my Mum and I. My Grandad recently said to me that he thinks of all family relationships the Mother/Daughter relationship is the most complicated and utterly mystifying to him, maybe that’s because he’s an old fashioned man or maybe it’s because he’s right, maybe there is a rather complicated and ever changing dynamic between mother and daughter that can easily get all screwed up....... ugh who knows! But I do know that our little baby is going to be a light in our lives, rather than an inconvenience.
Tuesday 15 April 2008
Thursday 10 April 2008
Tired of Waiting
Well I thought I’d join in with the recent return to Blogger, of a few trusty virtual pals, by posting another blog.
So I’ve been feeling reet awful the last couple of days. I have no idea what’s up but I’ve just been feeling absolutely drained and everything I eat disagrees with me, I haven’t actually been ill I’ve just felt ill. I think the lack of sleep may have simply caught up with me as I’ve done fuck all but sleep over the past two days, sleep and drink Gaviscon right out of the bottle....... yeeeeeeeuch! Damn you heartburn!
There just seems to be so much to do though, our house was just completely ripped apart by the crap artists who recently installed our new combi boiler. They’ve basically ruined the decor in every room so we had to start all over again. Him indoors has worked his arse off but I’ve also helped too and it’s been tiring and we’re still not finished. We’ve had to replace the flooring in the living room, bathroom, hall and we’ve still to replace the floor in the kitchen. We’ve completely redecorated the living room, bought a new fire and some new pictures to go but we still have to paint the woodwork in the bathroom and hall and redecorate the hall. We’ve bought everything we need to do the last of the work but we can’t get it finished until the plasterer comes back to fill in all the holes they left in our walls, we’ve only been waiting three weeks so far..... fuckers!
On top of that we’ve been off buying all the things a baby needs, like nappies and clothes and a bath and a cradle and a pram and blah, blah, blah. It’s bloody expensive I can tell you. But there are only a couple of little things to buy now and my hospital bag is all packed and waiting for the off. I swear sometimes that bag looks so ominous but at the same time I’m just so tired of this last bit, I’m impatient to meet our little monster and I also can’t wait to start this new chapter of our lives.
Anyway having a big bouncy baby inside you really does start to tire you out, I’m at the stage where just getting out of bed or out of the bath is a mighty struggle akin to one of Hercules’ labours. It must be getting awful cramped in there for the little one though, this morning I woke up feeling a bit strange so I looked down and the right side of my tummy was raised in a huge bottom shaped bump, for a moment I was all sleepy and disorientated and I suppose I forgot I was preggers and so I got a total fright and exclaimed “what the fucking hell?!!” I must’ve scared the little tyke and off he swam into a different position. That was a bit of a strange feeling I must say.
But actually after that momentous moan I feel a lot better, I wish I could go and smoke a cigarette now, I’ll just go and have a bubble bath instead.
Bye bye.
So I’ve been feeling reet awful the last couple of days. I have no idea what’s up but I’ve just been feeling absolutely drained and everything I eat disagrees with me, I haven’t actually been ill I’ve just felt ill. I think the lack of sleep may have simply caught up with me as I’ve done fuck all but sleep over the past two days, sleep and drink Gaviscon right out of the bottle....... yeeeeeeeuch! Damn you heartburn!
There just seems to be so much to do though, our house was just completely ripped apart by the crap artists who recently installed our new combi boiler. They’ve basically ruined the decor in every room so we had to start all over again. Him indoors has worked his arse off but I’ve also helped too and it’s been tiring and we’re still not finished. We’ve had to replace the flooring in the living room, bathroom, hall and we’ve still to replace the floor in the kitchen. We’ve completely redecorated the living room, bought a new fire and some new pictures to go but we still have to paint the woodwork in the bathroom and hall and redecorate the hall. We’ve bought everything we need to do the last of the work but we can’t get it finished until the plasterer comes back to fill in all the holes they left in our walls, we’ve only been waiting three weeks so far..... fuckers!
On top of that we’ve been off buying all the things a baby needs, like nappies and clothes and a bath and a cradle and a pram and blah, blah, blah. It’s bloody expensive I can tell you. But there are only a couple of little things to buy now and my hospital bag is all packed and waiting for the off. I swear sometimes that bag looks so ominous but at the same time I’m just so tired of this last bit, I’m impatient to meet our little monster and I also can’t wait to start this new chapter of our lives.
Anyway having a big bouncy baby inside you really does start to tire you out, I’m at the stage where just getting out of bed or out of the bath is a mighty struggle akin to one of Hercules’ labours. It must be getting awful cramped in there for the little one though, this morning I woke up feeling a bit strange so I looked down and the right side of my tummy was raised in a huge bottom shaped bump, for a moment I was all sleepy and disorientated and I suppose I forgot I was preggers and so I got a total fright and exclaimed “what the fucking hell?!!” I must’ve scared the little tyke and off he swam into a different position. That was a bit of a strange feeling I must say.
But actually after that momentous moan I feel a lot better, I wish I could go and smoke a cigarette now, I’ll just go and have a bubble bath instead.
Bye bye.
Friday 8 June 2007
Supply and Demand
It’s been a while since I blogged on this here site and I deleted all my previous blogs, I wonder if anybody around here that read them is still around. No matter, I feel like I’m on my own little island and it’s rather nice.
Anyway I’ve been thinking about prostitution, no not doing it, jeezuz nobody could afford a fine filly like myself, neigh, just the nature of it. It’s something I’ve often contemplated after living in Holland for a couple of years. I mean over there you see the girls in their windows every time you go out for a drink. But I got to thinking about it after hearing some people talking about prostitutes and how they thought they were “disgusting” and their punters are “disgusting” too. Quite frankly the thought of prostitution takes me to some sleazy places I’d rather not go to and personally it’s something I’d never do but who’s to say, maybe if I’d gone down the wrong path….. horrible thought but hey other women choose that path so…..
Anyway moving on, I’ve listened to a whole lot of people with views like the ones of the people I was talking to recently and I’ve read a whole lot of stuff by people with similar views. Most of the time it’s dressed up mighty pretty, people love to pretend they’re debating about it, when really all they want to say is “fucking sluts!” It’d actually be a whole lot more honest and would waste a lot less of their own, and other peoples time, if they just came out and said that.
This is a matter I find has many shades of grey, rather than simply being black and white. And I often wonder who the fuck I am to judge when I know piss all about it but I’m the type of person that likes to experience before getting on my high horse (neigh?). However, I do at times, find myself blaming most of it on men, men can be so fucking needy, they get so lonely and begin to feel really insecure if they don’t stick their dick in something now and again. I mean take men out of the equation and…. no prossies, surely!? Well that brings me on to the increase of male prostitutes who are servicing women. So many women are obviously just the same as these men I’ve slated…. hmm.
I also feel awful sorry for some men and women too, for instance what if you have a mild learning difficulty, you’re not quite disabled not quite what many people would term “normal”? And due to that learning difficulty you will just never score out in the big bad world, it does happen all the time you know. Or what if you’re disfigured or hideously ugly (don’t hate me for saying that as there are some seriously ugly people in the world). We’d all like to think that there is “somebody for everybody out there” but sadly that’s just not true. So, what if you are one of these people? Would you be disgusting if you went to a prostitute and paid for sex? Would that make the prostitute disgusting for servicing you?
For instance, I knew of a guy that lived in my area, a highly respected man, who’s wife was really ill, it was a long term illness. Everybody in our area found out he was going to prostitutes, people thought he was disgusting because he did, they were all going around asking “why not find another woman?” surely the answer is simple, he didn’t want another woman, he wanted his wife and he wanted sex, not a fucking relationship with someone else! I mean it would have been really disgusting if he’d up and left his wife for another woman when his wife was terminally ill would it not?!
People are so fucking simple minded about sex, they just cannot separate sex and love but sex and love are not always related I’m afraid, sometimes people just need a good shag and sometimes you can’t force yourself to shag someone you love if the chemistry isn’t there!
I’m not saying I like the idea of prostitution, I’m not saying it doesn’t creep me out, I’m not saying I agree with it and I’m not saying that I don’t think some of the people who go to prostitutes aren’t fucking disgusting, pervy weirdos but I am saying that there are definitely instances where it’s maybe not such a bad thing, that maybe it isn’t always disgusting. Maybe sometimes, some people shouldn’t be forced to go their whole lives without having their basic needs fulfilled just because the majority think it’s “disgusting”. And I am saying that just because you don’t agree with something you shouldn’t treat other human beings like they’re pieces of shit. There aren’t many things in life that are black and white and this is just another one of them that isn’t. So before you open up your self-righteous mouth and start yabbering on about how fucking lily white you are, try thinking first, try going without sex for ten years or try having two choices, go hungry again or sell your arse!
Anyway I’ve been thinking about prostitution, no not doing it, jeezuz nobody could afford a fine filly like myself, neigh, just the nature of it. It’s something I’ve often contemplated after living in Holland for a couple of years. I mean over there you see the girls in their windows every time you go out for a drink. But I got to thinking about it after hearing some people talking about prostitutes and how they thought they were “disgusting” and their punters are “disgusting” too. Quite frankly the thought of prostitution takes me to some sleazy places I’d rather not go to and personally it’s something I’d never do but who’s to say, maybe if I’d gone down the wrong path….. horrible thought but hey other women choose that path so…..
Anyway moving on, I’ve listened to a whole lot of people with views like the ones of the people I was talking to recently and I’ve read a whole lot of stuff by people with similar views. Most of the time it’s dressed up mighty pretty, people love to pretend they’re debating about it, when really all they want to say is “fucking sluts!” It’d actually be a whole lot more honest and would waste a lot less of their own, and other peoples time, if they just came out and said that.
This is a matter I find has many shades of grey, rather than simply being black and white. And I often wonder who the fuck I am to judge when I know piss all about it but I’m the type of person that likes to experience before getting on my high horse (neigh?). However, I do at times, find myself blaming most of it on men, men can be so fucking needy, they get so lonely and begin to feel really insecure if they don’t stick their dick in something now and again. I mean take men out of the equation and…. no prossies, surely!? Well that brings me on to the increase of male prostitutes who are servicing women. So many women are obviously just the same as these men I’ve slated…. hmm.
I also feel awful sorry for some men and women too, for instance what if you have a mild learning difficulty, you’re not quite disabled not quite what many people would term “normal”? And due to that learning difficulty you will just never score out in the big bad world, it does happen all the time you know. Or what if you’re disfigured or hideously ugly (don’t hate me for saying that as there are some seriously ugly people in the world). We’d all like to think that there is “somebody for everybody out there” but sadly that’s just not true. So, what if you are one of these people? Would you be disgusting if you went to a prostitute and paid for sex? Would that make the prostitute disgusting for servicing you?
For instance, I knew of a guy that lived in my area, a highly respected man, who’s wife was really ill, it was a long term illness. Everybody in our area found out he was going to prostitutes, people thought he was disgusting because he did, they were all going around asking “why not find another woman?” surely the answer is simple, he didn’t want another woman, he wanted his wife and he wanted sex, not a fucking relationship with someone else! I mean it would have been really disgusting if he’d up and left his wife for another woman when his wife was terminally ill would it not?!
People are so fucking simple minded about sex, they just cannot separate sex and love but sex and love are not always related I’m afraid, sometimes people just need a good shag and sometimes you can’t force yourself to shag someone you love if the chemistry isn’t there!
I’m not saying I like the idea of prostitution, I’m not saying it doesn’t creep me out, I’m not saying I agree with it and I’m not saying that I don’t think some of the people who go to prostitutes aren’t fucking disgusting, pervy weirdos but I am saying that there are definitely instances where it’s maybe not such a bad thing, that maybe it isn’t always disgusting. Maybe sometimes, some people shouldn’t be forced to go their whole lives without having their basic needs fulfilled just because the majority think it’s “disgusting”. And I am saying that just because you don’t agree with something you shouldn’t treat other human beings like they’re pieces of shit. There aren’t many things in life that are black and white and this is just another one of them that isn’t. So before you open up your self-righteous mouth and start yabbering on about how fucking lily white you are, try thinking first, try going without sex for ten years or try having two choices, go hungry again or sell your arse!
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