Mothers and Daughters

So I’ve got some more crap on my mind again hmph. Anyway this Easter Sunday I fell out with my Mum, it wasn’t a bad falling out in her eyes, but in mine, once again she let me down.

You know my life has been a funny old life so far and my relationship with my Mum has always been interesting to say the least. It’s always been somewhat Ab Fab; you know the type of Mother/Daughter relationship where the daughter is like the Mother and vice versa. Some people I know, including my Mum, think this is all rather amusing but because I’m the one who plays Mum all the time, it ain’t really so much fun for me you know!

My Mother has just never grown up, this has always been a bone of contention between us but recently, being pregnant and all, it’s become more of a skeleton as I’ve been thinking of the future of course and how she may treat my child aka her Grandchild.

I’m rather traditional when it comes to children and so I believe that yes, the little tykes cost money but what a child really needs is lots of love and discipline when needed, rather than numerous pairs of Nike Air Max, money on tap for sweets and too much freedom. I suppose the problem with this “old fashioned” outlook is the fact that my Mum was too busy enjoying herself throughout my childhood so now I worry that if she was like that with me, then she’ll be worse with my child. And, if she can let me down again when I’m heavily pregnant, then she’ll no doubt let us down when our son is born.

Until you have children or are pregnant I don’t think you can fully understand how protective a good parent feels towards their children and I feel that way now, I know we’ll make mistakes as parents (him indoors and I) but I want better for my child than I had, I don’t want to let him down like I was and I never want him to question whether he was loved as a child, as I often do. Mind you too much of the opposite and you could end up with a right spoiled little brat, so I suppose parenthood is a fine balance and as long as you’re aware of that then you should be doing your best.

Life has a funny way of throwing everything annoying, irritating and downright worrying at you, at the wrong time and the same time doesn’t it?

Anyway I’m sure all this will sort itself out before the baby is born but I think things need to be discussed between my Mum and I. My Grandad recently said to me that he thinks of all family relationships the Mother/Daughter relationship is the most complicated and utterly mystifying to him, maybe that’s because he’s an old fashioned man or maybe it’s because he’s right, maybe there is a rather complicated and ever changing dynamic between mother and daughter that can easily get all screwed up....... ugh who knows! But I do know that our little baby is going to be a light in our lives, rather than an inconvenience.